Class 5
HURTING OTHERS WITH THE TONGUE
NINE PROHIBITIONS
Yesterday we read about the 9 Prohibitions on the Tongue, today we will read about another 9 Prohibitions on the tongue that are specific to hurting others with your tongue.
1. SHOWING DISRESPECT TO PARENTS
Allah, the Most High, says, {Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.} (Al-Isra: 23-24)
Therefore, you should serve them as they did with you. But your service is not equal to theirs as they suffered a lot in bringing you up, hoping that you might live long. On the other hand, when you shoulder their burdens some hope that they will die soon.
Allah, the Most High, says, “Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: To Me is thy final goal.” (Luqman: 14)
Behold, how Allah has associated gratitude to Him with the gratitude to the parents Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him), said, "There are three verses (ayat) which have been revealed associated with three others. They are not accepted separately.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
"Allah's satisfaction is the parent's and His Wrath is theirs.”(Tirmidhi)
"Shall I not tell you of the worst major sins? Worshipping others with Allah and showing disrespect to parents." (Again Allah associates showing disrespect to parents with worshipping others besides Him.)
"Whoever shows disrespect to his parents, he who reminds recipients of his charity to them and he who addicts to wine will not enter Paradise.” (Ahmad & Nisa’ai)
"In the night of Isra' (Night Journey) I saw groups of people in the Hell-Fire hanged on trunks of fire. I asked, "Who are they, Gabriel?" Gabriel said, "They are those who revile their parents in this world.”
Once Ibn 'Umar saw a man bearing his mother upon his shoulder and making circumambulation around the Ka'ba. The man asked him, "Do you think that I requite her? No, not even with a cry from childbirth. But, well done. Allah will give you in return for a little deed a great reward.” (Bukhari)
2. BEARING FALSE WITNESS
AIIah, Most High says; “Those who witness no falsehood and if they pass by futility, they pass by it with honorable (avoidance)” (AI-Furqan: 72)
The Prophet ﷺ said, "On the Day of Judgement, the feet of the person who bore false witness will not stir from their place before their owner is condemned to Hell.”(Ibn Majah)
Imam Ad-Dhahabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said that the one who bore false witness has committed many major sins among which is:
(a) Lying and false allegation.
(b) He oppressed the one who bore witness against him as he appropriated his property, honor and soul.
(c) He oppressed the one who bore witness for him as he brought unlawful property to him and thus made him entail the Hell-Fire."
(d) He made what Allah forbids of property, blood and honor permissible.
3. ACCUSING A WOMAN OF ADULTERY
Allah Most High says,
{Those who slander chaste secured, and believing women are cursed in this life and in the hereafter: for them is a grievous chastisement. On the day when their tongues, their hands, and their feet will bear witness against them as to their as to their actions.} (24: 23-24)
{And those who launch a charge against chaste women and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations) -flog them with eighty stripes: and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors.} (24: 4)
Allah the Almighty in these verses makes it clear that whosoever unjustly accuses as chaste woman of committing adultery is cursed both in this world and in the hereafter, and deserves grave chastisement.
In addition, he is flogged with eighty lashes and his witness is not accepted even though he is just.
In the Sahih Bukhari and Muslim -the Prophet says, “Avoid seven heinous sins…..” And among which he mentioned charging believing women, unmindful though innocent, with adultery"
An example of such an accusation is if someone says to a Muslim chaste woman:" You are an adulteress." or "a harlot", or "a whore" or to say to her husband, “you are the prostitute's husband" or to call her child as " the whore's child"
The same rule is applied if someone slanders a man of committing adultery. The unjust accuser in all the above cases must suffer eighty stripes unless he brings a testimony of four men who support his allegation.
A lot of ignorant people are indulged in such offenses which procure the chastisement in this world and in the hereafter. When a person says something unknowingly right or wrong, it may lead him to fall down in hell as far away as the distance between the east and west.
4. GHEEBAH | BUHTAAN | NAMEEMAH
Gheebah (backbiting), buhtan (slander) and nameemah (malicious gossip), are among the forbidden things which people often take lightly.
Gheebah or backbiting means speaking about a Muslim in his absence and saying things that he would not like to have spread around or mentioned. Buhtan or slander means saying things about a Muslim that are not true, or in other words telling lies about him. Nameemah or malicious gossip means telling one person what another said in order to cause trouble between them.
There is a great deal of evidence to show that these actions are haram (impermissible). It will suffice for us to mention just a few of them in order to demonstrate that they are haram.
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful” [49:12]
And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Do you know what gheebah (backbiting) is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He ﷺ said, “Saying something about your brother that he dislikes.” It was said, “What if what I say about my brother is true?” He ﷺ said, “If what you say is true then you have backbitten about him, and if it is not true, then you have slandered him.” [Muslim]
It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ passed by two graves and said, “They are being punished, but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used to walk about spreading malicious gossip (nameemah), and the other used not to take precautions to avoid getting urine on himself when he urinated...” (Bukhaari & Muslim).
For a person to say of another, “He cannot control his tongue (or he has a loose tongue)” is undoubtedly one of those things that a person would dislike to have said about him. If it is true, then it is gheebah (backbiting), and if it is not true then it is buhtan (slander).
5. MOCKING PEOPLE
Some weak people with vile tongues think they are strong, they are those who like to make fun of others and wink behind their backs or make snide remarks, may find a person to be an object of fun for them and the butt of their jokes – Allaah forbid. Allaah has forbidden such behaviour in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith” (al-Hujuraat 49:11)
Ibn Katheer said in his Tafseer: “What is meant here is looking down on them, belittling them or making fun of them. This is haraam and is counted as one of the characteristics of the hypocrites.”
Some people make fun of a person’s appearance, manner of walking or vehicle. But there is the fear that Allah may requite the one who makes fun of others because of that. The Prophet ﷺ warned against mocking people and hurting their feelings, because that is the path that leads to hatred and grudges.
He ﷺ said,
“Do not express malicious joy towards your brother’s misfortune, for Allaah may have mercy on him and you may be stricken by the thing you made fun of.” (al-Tirmidhi).
“The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, he does not wrong him, let him down or look down upon him. Taqwa (piety, awareness and fear of Allaah) is here” – and he pointed to his chest three times – “It is sufficient evil for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother. Every Muslim is sacred to another Muslim, his blood, his property and his honour.” (Narrated by Muslim)
6. REMINDING RECIPIENTS OF ONE’S CHARITY TO THEM
Allah Most High says, {O ye who believe! Cancel not your charity by reminders of your generosity or by injury.} (AI-Baqarah: 264)
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ declared, "There is one people whom Allah will not speak to, look at, or exonerate on the Day of Judgment, and they will have a painful torment. they are the one who wears the hem of his garment low (out of pride), he who reminds recipients of his charity to them, and he who sells merchandise swearing that he paid more for it than he actually did. "
He ﷺ also said,
“Three men will never enter Paradise. Those disobedient to their parents, the drunkards and the one who used to remind the recipients of his charity with his grace.” (Nisa’ai)
"Paradise is not the abode for the fraud, the niggard and the person who reminds the recipients of his charity.” (Tirmidhi)
7. THE TALEBEARER WHO STIRS UP ENIMITY BETWEEN PEOPLE
Here, the reference is to a person who passes on to others what he hears from someone in such a manner that will cause dissension among people.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,
"He who stirs up enmity among people by quoting their words to each other will not enter paradise.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
"You find that among the worst people is someone who is two-faced, showing one face to some and another face to the others.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
"Who he stirs up enmity among people by quoting their words in this world, Allah will severely torment him in the Hereafter;” (Abu Dawood)
(on passing by two graves the hadeeth quoted under Gheebah).
The fact that this heinous sin is not confined to transforming the speech of others only but it includes unveiling what one does not like to be unveiled even if it is done through speech, writing, gestures etc. One should, however, keep silent concerning what he discovers of the affairs of others except incase when publicizing it would benefit the Muslims or prevent them from committing a sin.
The one to whom talebearer told news of others, should abide by the following:
Disbelieving what this person told him for such a man is of no piety,
Advising the talebearer to abstain from this heinous sin,
Detesting the sinner for the sake of Allah,
Avoiding spying and searching out the other people's faults as the Glorious Qur'an commands, {And spy not on each other.} (AI-Hujurat: 12)
Abhorring this sin: A man came to 'Umar Ibn 'Abd AI-'Aziz and told him something about another person which the latter would have disliked being mentioned. Thereupon 'Umar said to him, "Let us examine your case: If you are lying, you are one of those who mentioned in the verse, ~If a sinner comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth. t (AI-Hujurat: 6), and if you are telling the truth, you are one of those mentioned in the verse, {A slanderer; going about with calumnies.} (Al-Qalam: 1) But if you wish we may forgive you." The man replied, please forgive me, O Commander of the Believers. I shall never do it again.
AI-Hasan AI-Basri, said, "Assuredly, the one who tells you about the speech of others would also tell others about your speech."
8. FOUL LANGUAGE (SWEARING)
“What the ———-!” “Hey you, ———-, how are you?” “Where in the ——– have you been?”
If you listen to the conversation of the average Muslim youth (or even adults) talking to each other, unfortunately this is what you will hear…….expletives, bad words and cusses. In fact, foul language is often heard as part of their everyday life at school, universities and work place.
What’s worse is that they use these words without thinking, without remorse and without even realizing that these words are obscene, filthy or repulsive, using four letter words in every sentence and in every conversation.
Subhaan Allaah! Calling each other bad names and using foul language!
Since when did that become a ‘joke’? Or even worse, how can we think that is a way to be cool? Since when did cussing become part of a Muslim’s vocabulary?
What a stark contrast between this and what the Prophet ﷺ used to do.
The behavior of the Prophet ﷺ
Anas bin Malik said: “The Prophet ﷺ was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)…” (Bukhaari)
And Abdullah bin ‘Amr said: “The Prophet ﷺ never used bad language either a ‘Faahish nor a Mutafaahish. He ﷺ used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’ (Bukhaari)
And he ﷺ said: “The believer is not a slanderer, one who curses a great deal, one who indulges in obscenity or who in engages in foul talk.” (Tirmidhi– saheeh by al-Albaani)
Hellfire because of cussing
Realize, dear brother/sister, that using foul language and cussing is a sin, even in joke and this is a characteristic of the people of Hellfire.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The inmates of Hell are of five types….” And among them he ﷺ mentioned “…the miser, the liar and those who are in the habit of abusing people and using obscene and foul language.” (Muslim)
“O ‘Aaishah! The worst people are those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.” (Bukhaari)
Bad words show disrespect to those being spoken to and a total lack of self-respect. The one who stays away from filthy language is not being a prude or old-fashioned; rather he /she is a Mu’min and a follower of the one with the best manners ever…that is, the Prophet ﷺ. Use of such evil words is disrespectful, plain and simple. It is not to be tolerated nor is it an acceptable behavior in Islam.
The Prophet ﷺ said,
"Insulting a Muslim is an act of immorality and fighting him is an act of disbelief.” (Bukhari)
"Cursing a believer is like killing him.” (Bukhari)
"Those who indulge in cursing others will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Judgment.” (Muslim)
"It is not the character of a believer to indulge in slandering, cursing, or immoral talk.” (Tirmidhi)
9. SHARING BEDROOM SECRETS
A practice seen more amongst females (some men as well, but this is common in sisters) of the ummah these days, and is supposed to be just for fun, like some sisters share about their secrets with each other just to show how close they are to each other but it is obligatory for both spouses to keep the secrets of the marriage, especially anything that has to do with their intimate relationship in bed. The wife is entrusted with the husband’s secrets and the husband is entrusted with the wife’s secrets.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet ﷺ turned to the men and said, “Is there any man among you who, when he comes to his wife, he locks the door, throws his blanket over himself and conceals himself with the cover of Allaah?” They said, “Yes.” He said, “And does he sit after that and say, ‘I did such and such, and I did such and such?’” They remained silent. Then he turned to the women and said, “Is there anyone among you who speaks (of private marital matters)?” They remained silent. Then a buxom young girl sat up tall so that the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ would see her and hear her words, and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (the men) speak and (the women) speak.” He said, “Do you know what the likeness of that is? The likeness of that is that of a female devil who meets a male devil in the street and he fulfils his desire with her when the people are looking on.” (Abu Dawood)
The last class of the course will be tomorrow about “How to control your tongue; expiation and repentance”.
TIPS FOR THE TEST
Do not have to memorise the ayahs or hadeeths word for word and their references, but remember their meanings and the msg being given.
Remember the Sins and their warning.
ASSIGNMENT
There will be an Assignment Question asked in the Test. Marks will be given based on the following: -
I. Invite atleast 10 people to the course (can invite via WhatsApp, Facebook, Email, telegram or word of mouth) 4 Marks. (check the note below for exceptions)
Note:
Those who have already invited whether on Whatsapp, Email or FB, do not need to invite again.
It does not matter, whether people join or not, our job is to invite.
II. Talk to 5 people (friends or family) about any three topics from the course - (5 Marks)
III. Pray for the Ummah, pray for the ease of all the poor & oppressed Muslims and Maghfirah of the Muslims who passed away. Pray that Allah make us all strong in imaan and give us the hidayah to work for the aakhirah and to help each other. - 1 Mark
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