TERM 2 - etiquette ii - CLASS 6
ETIQUETTE OF
WALKING | GRIEF | SALAM
ETIQUETTE OF WALKING
Brothers
Walk on a medium pace in the way. Do not rush to become, an object of ridicule for the onlookers, nor drag your feet so wearily that people might think you are ill and start making anxious enquiries after your health.
Walk with poise and dignity with eyes cast down. Do not continue to look sideways at everything along the path
Walk humbly with even steps. Do not walk arrogantly and proudly.
Strictly observe the following etiquettes while walking along the road. Do not stop or sit on the way with the object of staring at the passers-by. If on occasions you must stop or sit on the way, you should follow these rules:
Keep your eyes downcast;
Remove harmful bits and pieces out of the way.
Respond to the ‘salam’ of others
Persuade the people to do good and prevent them from doing evil.
Show the way to travellers who have lost direction.
Help those’who are in trouble or are facing hardship.
On going to the bazar, say this prayer:
لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَلَهُ الْحَمْدُ يُحْيِي وَيُمِيتُ وَهُوَ حَيٌّ لَا يَمُوتُ بِيَدِهِ الْخَيْرُ وَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٍ
"There is none worthy of worship besides Allah. He is all by Himself. He has no partner. His is the Kingdom, to Him is all praise. He gives and takes life. He is all by Himself. He will not die. In His hands is all good and He has control (power) over all things".
Sisters
Whenever righteous women have to pass along the road out of any need or necessity, they should wrap their bodies, garments and all pieces of physical adornment carefully with a ‘burqa’ or a sheet and cover their faces with a veil.
If there is any other kind of adornment that is hidden, women are forbidden to make any movements that would reveal what is hidden, because Allah says: (And let them not stamp their feet...) to the end of it.
From that, women are also prohibited from wearing scent and perfume when they are going outside the home, lest men should smell their perfume. Abu `Isa At-Tirmidhi recorded that Abu Musa, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet ﷺ said: (Every eye commits fornication and adultery, and when a woman puts on perfume and passes through a gathering, she is such and such) -- meaning an adulteress.
By the same token, women are also forbidden to walk in the middle of the street, because of what this involves of wanton display.
The Prophet ﷺ affirmed: “Collision with a mud- stained swine drenched in stinking slush is tolerable, yet it is inadmissible that a stranger should rub shoulders with a female”.
ETIQUETTE OF MOURNING & GRIEF
1. Endure calamities with patience and calmness. Do not lose heart and never let your grief and sorrow exceed moderate proportions. No person in the world can remain safe and unaffected by sorrow, grief, calamity, hardship, affliction,, failure or loss. The response of the believers and unbelievers is, however, different in this respect. The non- believer loses his sense under the burden of pains and sorrows and is’ completely immobilized by feelings of hopelessness and dismay. Sometimes he succumbs to grief and commits suicide. In contrast the believer remains undaunted in the face of the greatest calamity and never leaves command over his patience. At such times he becomes a symbol of patience and perseverance and stands firm like a rack. He takes the view that whatever has occurred was decreed by Allah and no command of Allah is devoid of wisdom or purposes Hence whatever Allah commands is for the ultimate good of man and surely there is always an aspect of grace in all the dealings of Allah with man. This reasoning produces a state of spiritual calm and ‘satisfaction and the bitter taste of sorrow turns into sweetness. This faith in the predetermined destiny makes the burden of hardship light and calamity becomes easy to bear. Allah has affirmed:
There is no misfortune that reaches in the earth or in your selves but is mentioned in a Book, before We initiate it; indeed this is easy for Allah. So that you may not be saddened upon losing something, nor rejoice upon what you are given; and Allah does not like any boastful, conceited person. [Hadeed 57:22/23]
2. On hearing a tragic or painful news or if you suffer loss or sustain grief or injury Or are beset with a sudden misfortune recite:
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilaihi Raajio’un
“Lo ! We are Allah’s and lo ! Unto him are we to return”. (al-Baqarah)
The implication is that all our possessions belong to Allah; Allah has given us everything and he is the one who will take everything. We are his creatures and we must return to Him. We submit to the Will of Allah.
Prophet ﷺ has observed :
“Allah forgives all the sins of those Muslims who suffer a torment of the soul or physical pain, illness, sorrow, grief or affliction, even the injury on account of the piercing of a. thorn (and bear all these trials with patience)”. (Bukhäri, Muslim)
3. It is natural to show grief on suffering pain or meeting an accident. However, care should be observed that even under the stress of extreme pain and grief the tongue should not utter a bad remark, nor the virtues of patience and contentment be forsaken.
4. Even in the depth of grief, do not commit an act which may smack of ingratitude or complaint or which transgress the rules of Shari’ah. It is unlawful for a believer to give vent to loud weeping, tearing off clothes, slapping cheeks, crying and shouting or beating of head or the chest in mourning. The Prophet ﷺ has said : “The man who tears off his clothes, slaps his cheeks and raves and shouts like pagans ad wails is not a member of my Ummah.” (Tirmidhi)
5. Do not curse your fitness, nor utter any word’ of complaint. Exercise utmost patience and self control and pray for the reward in the Hereafter.
6. Do not ‘observe mourning for more than three days on the death of any one. It is natural to be stricken with grief and to weep on the death of relations, yet the period of mourning should not exceed three days.
7. Support one another in grief and pain. Share the sorrows and afflictions of your friends and lend all help you can to alleviate their suffering. The Prophet ﷺ observed: “All Muslims are like one human body. If the eye becomes sore, the entire body feels distress. If there is a pain in the head, all organs of the body suffer the agony’!. (Muslim)
8. When you are pressed under the burden of calamities and afflicted with sorrows, turn to Allah ; offer worship and bow in humility to Him and say prayers to him.
9. Say this prayer when you find any one afflicted with hardship. Abu Buraira (Allah be pleased with him) related : The Prophet ﷺ observed;
“He who says the following prayer on seeing the other afflicted with trouble will, InshaAllah, himself remain safe from this trouble :
Alhamdu lillaahil-lathee 'aafaanee mimmab-talaaka bihi wa fadhdhalanee 'alaa katheerin mimman khalaqa tafdheela.
Praise is to Allah Who has spared me what He has afflicted you with, and preferred me greatly above much of what He has created.
ETIQUETTE OF SAYING SALAM
Say As Salam Alaikum’ on meeting a Muslim brother in order to express your feeling of attachment and felicity.
Say Salam to every Muslim, whether you have a prior acquaintance or connection with him or not. The condition that he is your. Muslim brother suffices for establishing a relationship or making an acquaintance
On entering your house say ‘SaIãm’ to members of your family.
Say ‘Salam’ to small children also. This is the best means of teaching the children the manner of offering ‘Salam’ as well as an observance of the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
Accustom yourself to say ‘Salam’ as often as possible and never miss the opportunity of saying ‘Salam’. Say ‘Salam’ to each other as often as possible. The act of offering ‘Salám’ promotes love and in recompense for this act, Allah grants protection from all pain or loss.
Always be the first to say ‘Salam’
Be particular in offering ‘Saläm’ to your elders. If you are walking along and some people are sitting on the way, you should be the first to offer them ‘Salam’. When you are part of a small group and your small group comes across a larger number of people, the smaller group must take the initiative in saying the ‘Salam’, and the passer-by should be the first to offer ‘Saläm’ to those who are sitting
When you call at somebody’s house and enter his sitting room or pass by a crowd or on arrival at a meeting offer ‘Salam’. similarly, say ‘Saläm’ at the time of taking leave
On arrival at a meeting, offer. ‘Salam’ to the meeting as a whole; do not offer ‘Salam’ to a particular person by name.
If an opportunity arises to convey ‘Salam’ to an elder, a near relative or friend through somebody else or by means of a letter written by someone else, you must take this opportunity to communicate your ‘Salam’.
In response to ‘Salam’, do not just confine yourself to saying ‘Wa ‘Alaikum As Salam’, but try to utter the words ‘Wa rakmatullahi’ Wa barakatuku’
Do not take the initiative in offering ‘Salam to the Jews or Christians.
Do shake hands after saying the ‘Salam’ in order to express feelings of love, felicity and reverence.
Avoid saying ‘Salam’ under the following conditions:
When people are engaged in reading, listening to or teaching the Holy Qur’an and Hadith.
When some one is either delivering a sermon or is listening to it.
When some One is announcing ‘Adhãn’ or Takbir’.
When a religious topic is being discussed in a meeting or some one is telling what Allah has ordained to us.
When the teacher is engaged in giving a lesson.
When somebody is relieving himself of excretions.
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