CLASS 7
DEEDS WITH FAMILY
THAT BRINGS GREAT REWARDS
Parents
Parents’ love– it’s intense, unselfish, natural, and beautiful. And it’s an amazing gift of Allah.
Children’s love for their parents – often it’s not so intense; sometimes it’s selfish and takes effort. And it’s an extremely emphasized order of Allah.
In a few places in the Quran, Allah commands us to be good to parents right after He orders us to worship Him alone:
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment…” (Quran, 17:23)
On the other hand, there are relatively few instances where Allah or His Prophet ﷺ urge good treatment of children. In fact, we tend to go to the other extreme when it comes to loving our children: “And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward”. (Quran, 8:28)
It is a Major sin to be undutiful and disobedient to the parents. The Prophet ﷺ listed some of the greatest sins thus: “Associating anyone with Allah, disobedience to parents, killing a person and false utterance”. (Muslim)
You can Never Do Enough to Repay their Debts, the Prophet ﷺ said, “A son cannot ever repay his parents what he owes them”. (Muslim)
On one hand it is a great sin to be undutiful to the parents on the other hand Allah has put great rewards on being dutiful to them.
GREAT REWARDS FOR KINDNESS TO PARENTS
Loving our children comes naturally to us, whereas loving our parents often takes effort and patience. Probably that’s why the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave us so many incentives for being good to parents.
It’s a Way of Earning Allah’s Pleasure
The Prophet ﷺ said: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger”. (At-Tirmidhi)
It is a Road to Paradise
One of the Companions once asked the Prophet ﷺ: “O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.”
He ﷺ said: Do you have a mother?
He said: “Yes.”
He ﷺ said: Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet. (An-Nasai)
Also the Prophet ﷺ said, “(Honoring) one’s father may lead one to enter through the best of the gates of Paradise; so take care of your parents…..” ([Ibn Majah)
And also the Prophet ﷺ said, “Let him be humbled, let him be humbled. It was said: Allah’s Messenger, who is he? He said. He who finds his parents in old age, either one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise’. (Muslim)
It is One of the Best Deeds
The Prophet ﷺ said, “The best of’ the deeds or deed is the (observance of) prayer at its proper time and kindness to the parents”. (Sahih Muslim)
Parents’ Prayer for their Children is Answered by Allah
The Prophet ﷺ said, “There are three supplications which are answered: The supplication of the person who is wronged, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of a parent for his child”. (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
SPOUSE
One of Allah’s important laws is that things are created in pairs; and from these pairs, reproduction occurs. Allah (SWT ) says: “We have created all things in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.” (al-Dhaariyaat 51 : 49)
ADVANTAGES OF MARRIAGE
Being ordained by Allaah the Most Wise and All – Knowing, marriage is sure to have many virtues and advantages. In what follows we list a number of them.
Preservation of Faith & Religion
Righteous spouses assist one another in preserving their Deen by offering help, support, and advice that enable them to obey Allaah and abstain from sinning.
Anas (R.A.) reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “When Allaah grants one a righteous wife, He has helped him (by that) to preserve half of his religion. Let him then fear and revere Allaah in regard to the other half.” (Al-Haakim & Tabaraani)
They will join each other in Paradise
When a believer enters Paradise, if his wife was righteous then she will be his wife in Paradise too and vice versa. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “‘And (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens), which they shall enter and (also) those who acted righteously from among their fathers, and their wives, and their offspring. And angels shall enter unto them from every gate…” [al-Ra’d 13:23]
So one spouse might be forgiven or elevated because of the other.
Marriage, the door to Wealth!
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the people)” [al-Noor 24:32]
Through this aayah, the companions would encourage others to get maried.
Abu Bakr As-Sadeeq is reported to have said, “Obey Allaah in what He comanded you to do by getting married; He will then fulfil His promise to you to make you rich.” He then recited the (above) verse.
‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab said. “Seek richness through marriage!“
Likewise, ‘Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood said, “Find richness by getting married.“
‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Abbaas said, “Allah has commanded (the Muslims) to get married, and He has encouraged and enticed them for it. So He has commanded to marry off their free-men and slaves (i.e., all those under their protection), and He has then promised them richness as a result.“
It has been narated that ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab once remarked. “I have never seen any stranger than a man who does not seek richness through marriage, even though Allaah has promised, as a result of it (i.e., marriage) what He has promised: “…if they are poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.““
The best Joy of this world
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “This world is temporary joys, and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous wife.” (Sahih Muslim).
DEEDS WITH SPOUSE WITH GREAT REWARDS
Waking the Spouse for Night Prayer
Another way to spend a blessed amount of time with family is by waking them for tahajjud.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “May Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up at night, prays, and wakes his wife to pray; and if she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face. And may Allah have mercy on a woman who wakes up at night, prays, and wakes her husband to pray; and if he refuses, she sprinkles water on his face.” (Abu Daawood, An-Nisaa’I & Ibn Majah, classed as sahih by Albani)
Intercourse
He ﷺ said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you (with your pouse) there is reward.” They said, O Mesenger of Allâh, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He ﷺ said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a Sunnah manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Sahih Muslim)
Du’a Before Intercourse
Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Messenger ﷺ said: “When one of you wants to approach his wife, he should say (this below supplication). If it is then decreed that they have a child (from that intercourse), Satan will never harm it.”
بِسْمِ الله اللّهُـمَّ جَنِّبْنا الشَّيْـطانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّـيْطانَ ما رَزَقْـتَنا
Bismillah, Allâhumma jannibnash-Shaytan, wa jannib ash-Shaytana ma razaqtana
In the Name of Allâh, O Allâh, keep Satan away from us, and keep him away from what You grant us
Please join our free online certificate course “BETTER HALF… BETTER LIFE!”, to learn more about various etiquette of Marital Life, the Love Languages, Intimacy, FAQs etc. https://learn-islam.org/better-half-better-life (available online now, register and learn).
Note these are not part of the ongoing course, it is an independent course that can be done at your own pace and at your own convenience.
CHILDREN
Children can be the best of blessings, or the worst of trials (may Allâh save us from that). They are an asset which, if not taken care of properly, will become a liability. Parents are obligated to raise and educate their children, not only to benefit them in this world, but to protect them in the Hereafter.
Allâh says: {O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allâh, but do that which they are commanded.} (Qur’an 66:6)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Allâh will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.” (al-Nisaa'i & Ibn Habban, classed as sahih by Albani)
“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
They are a source of Sawaab-e-Jaariya so upbring them nicely
The Prophet ﷺ said: “When a person dies, all his deeds come to an end except three: sadaqah jaariyah (ongoing charity, e.g. a waqf or endowment), beneficial knowledge (which he has left behind), or a righteous child who will pray for him.” (Sahih Muslim, At-Tirmidhi & An-Nisaa’i)
Taking care & properly upbringing three Daughters
The Prophet ﷺ has affirmed: “The man who raises three daughters or three sisters, educates them and teaches them good manners and behaves kindly towards them till they become independent of his care by the will of Allâh, is entitled by Allâh to enter Paradise.” Thereupon a person asked: “What if they have only two daughters or two sisters?” The Prophet ﷺ affirmed: “The same reward will be given for similar conduct towards two daughters or two sisters.” (Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, also by Tirmidhi, classed as hasan by Albani)
Teaching the Quran to our Children
The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said:
‘The Qur’aan will come on the Day of Resurrection like a pale man saying to its companion, “Do you recognize me? I am the one who made you stay up at night and made you thirsty during the day…” Then he will be given dominion in his right hand and eternity in his left, and a crown of dignity will be placed upon his head, and his parents will be clothed with garments which far surpass everything to be found in this world. They will say, “O Lord, how did we earn this.” It will be said to them, “Because you taught your child the Qur’aan.”’” (Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat, 6/51).
‘Whoever reads the Qur’aan, learns it and acts in accordance with it, on the Day of Resurrection his parents will be given a crown to wear whose light will be like the light of the sun, and his parents will be given garments which far surpass everything to be found in this world. They will say, “Why have we been given this to wear?” It will be said, “Because your child learned the Qur’aan.”’” (Narrated by al-Haakim, 1/756)
These two hadeeth support one another. See al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 2829.
Family members will be together in Jannah
Paradise is the abode of honour that Allah, may He be exalted, has prepared for His believing slaves. In it are delight and happiness such as have never entered the mind of man and no one has ever imagined. Whoever enters it will find true, eternal happiness and will have attained a great victory.
Part of the happiness that Allah has guaranteed to His believing slaves is that He will reunite the family, parents and children, after they all enter Paradise by the mercy of Allah and the intercession of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. This promise is mentioned in the holy Book of Allah, in the verses that will be recited until the Day of Resurrection, in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything” [at-Toor 52:21].
Ibn ‘Abbaas said, commenting on this verse: Allah will raise the offspring of the believer to the same degree as him, even if they are lower than him in terms of good deeds, so as to bring joy to his heart. Then he recited the words (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything” [at-Toor 52:21].
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Note these are not part of the ongoing course, it is an independent course that can be done at your own pace and at your own convenience.
RELATIVES
Upholding the ties of kinship is an obligation, unanimously agreed upon by the scholars; on the flip side, severing the ties of kinship is considered a major sin. Unfortunately, it is a major sin that many people don’t realize the severity of, and engage in regularly.
There are parents who command their children to stop talking to their aunts or uncles; we see children who disrespect their elders and abandon their parents in their old age. The importance of maintaining positive relationships with extended relatives has been forgotten, despite the fact that the Qur’an and Sunnah are filled with numerous commands to do so.
{… and fear Allaah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)…} (Qur’an 4:1)
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah ﷺ said:
‘Allaah created the universe, and when He had finished, kinship (al-rahm) stood up and said, ‘This is the standing up of one who seeks Your protection from being cut off.’
Allaah said, ‘Yes, would it please you if I were to take care of those who take care of you and cut off those who cut you off?’
It said, ‘Of course.’
Allaah said, ‘Then your prayer in granted.’
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Recite, if you wish: {Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.}’ (Qur’an 47:22-23)” (Sahih Muslim bi Sharh an-Nawawi, 16/112.)
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ warned us, “Whoever violates the rights of kinship shall not go Heaven.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
As Muslims, we are forbidden from forsaking a fellow Muslim for more than three days. The Prophet ﷺ said: “It is not permissible for a man to forsake his Muslim brother for more than three days, each of them turning away from the other when they meet. The better of them is the one who gives the greeting of salaam first.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
DEEDS WITH RELATIVES WITH GREAT REWARDS
Being kind & helpful
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
Charity to Poor Relatives
As Muslims, we know the emphasis that Islam has placed on charity. The Messenger of Allâh ﷺ said: “Charity towards a poor person is charity, and towards a relation is both charity and maintaining the ties (of kinship).” (At-Tirmidhi & An-Nisaa’I, classed as sahih by Albani)
Relatives have the first right to our charity, and it can be a means of earning extra reward.
Being Good to Those Who Cut You Off
It is related by Abdullah bin Umar that the Messenger of Allâh ﷺ said: “One does not fulfill the claim of maintaining ties of kinship, who shows kindness to relatives in return for the kindness shown to them (by them). The person who truly fulfils the claim is the one who treats their relatives well (and does this duty) even when they are mean and unjust to them.” (Sahih Bukhari)
We have been given glad tidings of great rewards as a motivation to doing the right thing for the Sake of Allah, and we have been provided with the best role model to teach us how to conduct ourselves in all situations.
A man said to RasulAllâh ﷺ: “O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, I have relatives with whom I maintain ties of relations, yet they cut-off from me. I treat them kindly, yet they treat me in an evil manner. And I am forbearing and patient with them, yet they behave rudely and ignorantly towards me.” The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “If the situation is as you say, then it is as if you are filling their mouths with sand. And Allâh will continue to aid and support you as long as you continue doing what you are doing.” (Sahih Muslim)
May Allah make us give us all the Hidayah to be amongst those who are dutiful to their parents & who are good to their relatives. May Allah bless us all with righteous children and give us the hidayah to fulfil their rights and bring them up to be righteous slaves of Allah.
Tomorrow’s class will InShaAllah be “Rewarding deeds within the Society”
TIPS FOR THE TEST
Do not have to memorize the Ayahs or Hadeeths word for word but remember the message being given in it.
Memorise the rights and rewards.
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LEARN ISLAM
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